Im so uselessssssss

Wonder why i start blog again...
blog at this time of period...
521am.. few more hour is only will having my probability final test...
i so down n stress at tis moment...
today is mooncake festival... zhong qiu jie...
why zhong qiu always is my badday.. last year like tat this is also like tat...
and this year even worst...
i was typing a sms.. “爸，这次的考试真的很难。恐怕我过不了这关。。。 ”
but i dint send to him at last...
why? mayb i dun have that brave.
or mayb i duwan to let him worried. he get blood highpressure recently should be because of me.
or mayb i duwan him to know tat he got an useless son.
or mayb i duwan him to look down on me..
this exam is important to me. i cant fail anymore coz i did failed last time.
if i failed this time... ptptn load wont borrow money to me anymore.
no money mean i cant study anymore.
but why? why i still cant follow up with my study???
why everyone can study but why i cant???
why??? because im useless??
yes. i think im useless... stupid... idiot...
i made my dad disapointed.. i made dad get bloodhighpressure...
all is my fault... i made it all happen!!!
recently damn alots of thing happen to me...
my life really bad recently...
study suck finance negetive love noeven have time to bother...
my mind very mess up now... wanna to type out alots.. but dunno how to type.. all mess up...
everyday waiting the bad tommorow coming..
when only i have better tommorow??
down... down.... downnnnnnnnn..........